Pet Loss Library

 arrowReturn to Pet Loss Library


Second Year Of Loss

by Karin Baltzell, Ph.d

Dear Karin,

It is soon the second year after the loss of my cat. She was my baby and my only real friend. The death was awful and I was suicidal and depressed in spite of therapy and the comforting cliches we all tend to use when death intrudes. I know I will not be able to ever have another cat---I was happy with the one I had and my disability limits me (mostly the lack of income and mobility). I write her letters and have filled six journals. I am unable to enjoy life like I used to and am totally stagnant. I've suffered many horrible losses in my 42 years on Earth and don't look forward to facing any more, save, mine own. I know I'll lose it on the 2-year date, which is also my Dad's birthday. Do you have any advise to help me cope?

Dear Reader,

Of course, we are so sorry for your loss, and your continued grieving. Yes, it is very hard to hear platitudes, and cliches, when we are looking for someone to totally understand us and say just the "right thing". There is nothing that we could hope for more than some of the following suggestions might be of some consolation or help:

1. Contact your therapist if you are no longer seeing him/her and have a touch-up appointment during this anniversary time.

2. Have you joined the on-line support groups on Beyond Indigo?? Perhaps the Buddy Chat???

3. Try not to be alone on the anniversary date of the deaths of your kitty and your father. Be gone from your residence, if possible, or invite a friend of neighbor in to be with you.

4. Talk about your loss to someone that you trust. Yes, you've done that before, but you have suffered so many losses, it might take you an extra special long time to process all the feelings and hurt inside.

5. Keep journaling. However, you might change the focus of your writing to "What if?" What if I got a new cat, how would I manage that? What if I could find someone to share a pet with (and the cost), say a friend, or a neighbor, or another lonely grieving person? What if I could change the future for myself, what would it look like? Can you see how this can get you to start a new cycle of thinking???

6. Contact a Humane Society, or Social Services agency and see if they have therapy pets that can come and visit you. That way, you don't own the pet (and don't have to worry about the loss, yet again).

7.Consider the possibility of getting a new kitty. Just "consider it". Try on the idea. Live with the thought again. It would seem that what is holding you back from lots of love, and comfort, is your fear of suffering loss again. Yet, without risking love again, you suffer loss EVERY single day, over and over.

We wish you the best of luck getting through your anniversary, and encourage you to Hang On, and you will make it through to the other side of your painful time.

Karin


Karin is a staff writer and editor for Beyond Indigo. She holds her Ph.D in Psychology.

“Bailey absolutely loves going! Every time we take a walk past their building, Bailey waits at the door to go in. He doesn't even notice when they give him a shot because he's so preoccupied with the treats the technician is giving him.”

“After struggling to get appointments at my old vet I was thrilled to find that Center City Vet is not only flexible, but friendly, affordable and knowledgable. I have felt nothing but appreciated and welcomed at this practice. My cats even seemed to have the best appointments of their lives (in terms of calmness) due to the gentle but thorough. I think the greenies treats helped too! Highly recommend this practice!”

“My dog Molly has been a patient since we adopted her at 6 months old. She loves Dr. Cohen as much as we do. He is a brilliant veterinarian with a love for animals you expect from a Vet but rarely find.” — Joshua

“Dr. Cohen and the rest of the staff at Center City vet are fantastic. They are very quick when an appointment is needed and thorough. My cat Dexter and I have become spoiled because they take such good care of him! Thanks for everything you guys do!” — Emilee

“I have been bringing my dog to Center City Vet Hospital since they first opened. All of the staff is extremely professional and caring. I am glad to see that their business continues to grow without any effect on the quality of their service. I highly recommend taking your pet here.”

“The staff at CCVH are incredible. They go out of their way to ensure our pup is getting the best care possible. Our rescue dog has extreme separation anxiety, and he has always been available to help answer our questions, no matter what the concern. The facility is beyond bright and clean, and is by far the best vet hospital in the city.”

“The staff is so nice and the hospital is very efficient and clean.  It’s never too crowded and we’re in and out for a physical/vaccine update in about 30-40 min.  I lived around the corner when I first adopted my dog, so I went to CCVH out of convenience, but after moving across town and loving the service, I continued going.”

“The nurses are kind and caring. My dogs even like to go visit regularly. What dog do you know likes to go to the vet just to visit and say hi ??!   They have always fit my animals in, even when they are booked. Their prices are extremely reasonable, unlike other neighborhood veterinarians. ”

Copyright © 2019 Center City Veterinary Hospital. Veterinary Website by Beyond Indigo Pets.